I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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