I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
