Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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