you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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