he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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