You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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