I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm sobbing to NWA
i think we sleep fucked last night...
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
