If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
