I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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