That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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