Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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