When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
