All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
