I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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