I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
