I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
