Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
