Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I will be naked everywhere
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize
