Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
