I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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