I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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