so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
