I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
