WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
