If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
