I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize