If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Sex in the backyard? Check.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
