C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
