did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
