I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
