i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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