he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize