My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
