Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Also, beer. Big fan.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
