i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize