Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
