I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
