If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Do vagina's smell?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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