just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
