we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
