I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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