oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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