Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
