I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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