Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I don't deserve a penis
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
