what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
