i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
