he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize