once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
