A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
