WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
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