..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
