we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
