I met the friendliest cop last night
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Sext me about skeletons
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
