ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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