i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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