do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
