It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
