Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
