I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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