he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
