I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
